Sephiroth's Christmas Carol
by otaku9
Summary: In Dissidia, Chaos and Cosmos called a truce for the holidays and the two groups are celebrating Christmas. All except Sephiroth. Now they have to band together to help Sephiroth celebrate Christmas. Loosely based on The Christmas Carol. Adds in non-Dissidia characters too.


Disclaimer: I don't own Dissidia: Final Fantasy or A Christmas Carol

Sephiroth's Christmas Carol

Sephiroth was confused; when he got to the Edge of Madness, he saw no one there. Not even Chaos was perched on his throne.

_Where could they possibly be?_ Sephiroth thought. He looked all over; Pandamonium, the Northern Cave, Ultimecia's castle, Kefka's tower, the Interdimensional Rift, Crystal Tower, Orphan's Cradle, Inside Sin, the Phantom Train, the World of Darkness, Sky Fortress Bahamut, Crystal World, The Empyreal Paradox, and the Prima Vista. He even checked Order's Sanctuary, where Cosmos resided. All of Cosmos's warriors were busy wrapping up boxes with pretty paper.

_What could they possibly be doing? _Sephiroth thought. He shook his head and moved on. The last place he hadn't checked was the old Chaos Shrine and sure enough, the rest of Chaos's warriors were there too. And they were doing the exact same thing as Cosmos's warriors were doing.

Behind the warriors, a huge green tree was decorated with colorful balls and lights, some other ornaments that seemed to be of some personal value, strings of popcorn, tinsel that was spread chaotically around, and there was a smaller version of Chaos on top of the tree. Garland was hung on the pillars as well as lights. Over the throne a small bough of mistletoe hung.

The warriors themselves were in good spirits. They were laughing, smiling, and even some of them were singing.

"Deck the VOID with boughs of holly! Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!" Exdeath sang with gusto as he hung some more ornaments on the tree. "'Tis the VOID to be jolly! Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!" He was of-tune.

"Down we now our Void apparel!" Cloud of Darkness added. "Fa-la-la la-la-la-LA-la-la!" She/It could carry a tune.

"Troll the ancient VOIDtide carol." Exdeath sang, then the two together. "FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-

"Enough!" Caius shouted, banging his gigantic sword on the ground. "If I hear either of you two say Void one more time, I swear I'm going to turn into Chaos Bahamut and obliterate you both!"

"Oh lighten up, Caius," Kuja said, leaning up against the wall, book in hand, "It's Christmas."

"Oh come on, Kuja," Caius said, "Don't tell me that them saying Void all the time doesn't get on your nerves."

"You get used to it." Ultimecia added. Caius was new to the Chaos warriors, so he wasn't used to the antics of the other warriors, or actually working together with others.

"What on Gaia are you guys doing?" Sephiroth asked, watching this whole scene.

"Well it's about time you showed up, leather boy!" Jecht shouted, holding a glass of something milk-like, but Sephiroth had a feeling it wasn't milk, and swaying back and forth. "We were starting to think you were a no-show!"

"What's going on?" Sephiroth asked. "Why is there a tree in the shrine, why are you guys wrapping up boxes and why are you guys acting like Cosmos's warriors?" He shuddered at that last one.

"Don't you know?" Ultimecia asked. "What with the tree?"

"My namesake?" Garland added, pointing to the pillars.

"The mistletoe?" Kefka added.

"Me drinking eggnog?" Jecht added, taking a gulp of the stuff and swaying even more.

"Us singing "Deck the Void?" Cloud of Darkness said, but Sephiroth didn't know if it was including Exdeath in that statement.

"It's called "Deck the Halls." Caius corrected the tentacle creature.

"Why should I?" Sephiroth asked, crossing his arms.

"You seriously don't know?" Golbez asked.

"What are you talking about!?" Sephiroth shouted, demanding some answers.

"It's Christmas Eve, Sephiroth." Chaos explained. "And as per Christmas traditions, we hung up a tree, decorated it, decorated the shrine, we're singing songs, wrapping gifts-

"We even made Santa Claus some cookies!" Gilgamesh yelled out, walking in with a plate of chocolate chip cookies.

"I made them myself." Kuja proudly gestured to himself.

"And some milk!" Jecht raised up the glass, which, when Jecht looked, was mostly empty. "Well we did." He quickly replied.

"That was eggnog, you drunk." Emperor Mateus coldly stated.

"Oh." Jecht grinned happily.

"You guys seriously believe in Santa Claus?" Sephiroth asked.

"Well," Kefka sheepishly rubbed his head, "It can't hurt, right?"

"If Santa was real," Sephiroth asked, "Which he isn't, yhy would he give presents to us? Aren't we considered 'naughty'?"

"Well that's why we got the presents ourselves." Ultimecia said. "We're giving them to each other."

"We're even giving some to Cosmos's warriors." Jecht added.

"My gift for the Warrior of Light is a brand new sword." Garland said. "His current one is getting dull and when we fight, I want his sword to be in really top shape."

"I got Firion a bouquet of poinsettias." Emperor Mateus said.

"We got the little onion knight some onions." Cloud of Darkness said, holding up some rather small onions.

"Cloud of Darkness," Golbez said, "That's garlic, not onions."

"Oh," Cloud of Darkness said, "He won't notice anyway."

"I got Cecil a crystal." Golbez said.

"What's so special about a crystal?" Sephiroth asked.

"This crystal can show Cecil his family and friends back home in Baron." Golbez explained, squeezing the crystal tightly. The crystal glowed and now everyone could see a beautiful woman with long blonde hair pulled into a high ponytail next to a young looking teen with short blonde hair and what looked like his father's eyes. He smiled happily as they were decorating the tree there.

"Cool!" Gilgamesh exclaimed. "But my gift is so much better than yours, Golbez! I got Bartz a map!" He held up a rolled-up piece of paper. "Now, before you all go off at once, let me just say-

"It's _my _gift to Bartz, Gilgamesh." Exdeath seemed to glare at Gilgamesh before taking the map back.

"Does it really matter who gives it to him?" Gilgamesh said in defense. "It's going be for him anyway."

"That's nice, Exdeath." Garland said nicely. "You gave him a map."

"It's not just any map, though." Exdeath said. "It's a map that can show anywhere in his world, or in any other world. With this, he can find any location anywhere as long as he knows the name."

Everyone applauded.

"Impressive, Exdeath!" Kuja shouted. "How about you, Kefka? What'd you get Terra?"

"I got Terra a new dress." Kefka held out a long, pretty, bright red dress with a green bow and a red poinsettia on the bow. It had long sleeves that were huge at the end and the skirt of the dress was big and flowing.

"That's really pretty, Kefka." Ultimecia said. "Did you make that yourself?"

"No." Kefka said. "I bought it and I changed the color of the dress."

"Alright then," Ultimecia said, "Well I got Squall a lion mask," She held it up to her face. It was brown like his hair. "And I got Laguna some Aleve."

"Aleve?" Everyone asked.

"For his leg cramps." Ultimecia explained.

"Oh." Everyone said.

"I got Zidane this book of Shakespeare stories." Kuja said. "Chaos recommended this to me."

"I'm into his tragic stories." Chaos said in defense.

"I got my son a brand new blitzball!" Jecht exclaimed, holding up a shiny blue and white ball.

"Seriously?" Sephiroth asked. "A blitzball?"

"Yeah! What's wrong with that?" Jecht asked.

"Doesn't your son have other hobbies?" Caius asked. "Besides blitzball?"

"Other hobbies?" Jecht asked.

"Like reading?" Emperor Mateus asked.

"Acting, maybe?" Kuja added.

"Singing?" Ultimecia added.

"Dancing?" Cloud of Darkness added helpfully.

Jecht just stared at them blankly.

"Never mind." They all said.

"In any case," Gabranth said, "I got Prishe some new boxing gloves." He pulled out a pair of bright red, shiny gloves. Vaan," He pulled out a red and green sweater with a reindeer with a red nose on it, "In case he gets cold. And for Shantotto," He held up…

"A stepstool?" Everyone asked.

"Yeah." Gabranth smiled.

"Shantotto's going to kill you when she gets her gift." Golbez stated.

"Which is why I bought myself these brand new sneakers." He held up the black and white sneakers. "So I can run away from her faster."

"You're just mean, Gabranth." Gilgamesh simply stated.

"At least I got something." Gabranth said, glaring at the red man.

"I was busy!" Gilgamesh said in defense.

"So," Ultimecia said, cutting off the argument with the two, "Caius, what did you get for Lightning?"

"Well," Caius said shyly, "I got her…this." He held up a shiny silver locket.

"Oh!" Ultimecia exclaimed. "It's beautiful!"

"Wow, Caius," Cloud of Darkness said, "We never thought you liked Lightning."

"S-Shut up!" Caius stuttered. "I saw this and just thought it would look nice on her."

"Yeah, right." Exdeath said.

"I also got Serah a pretty ponytail holder," He held up a butterfly-shaped ponytail holder, "For Yeul, I made her a nice necklace," He held up a leather cord necklace with pretty crystals decorated all over and dangling from it, "And for Noel, I made him a new outfit." He held up a shirt and pants just like Noel's only black.

"They're going to be lucky to get those gifts!" Kefka exclaimed. Caius just smiled.

"This is going to be the best Christmas ever!" Kuja yelled out.

"Chaos," Sephiroth looked up at the god, "You're seriously okay with all this?"

"Well, yeah," Chaos grinned, "It's not like anyone's going to fight today. Plus, to me, Christmas is about chaos and craziness. Not that stupid peace and joy thing that Cosmos goes on about?"

"So," Ultimecia said, "Who wants to sing more carols?"

"We do!" Cloud of Darkness said.

"Me too!" Exdeath said.

"Remember what I saidif you sing Void one more time!" Caius threatened.

"You wanna join, Sephiroth?" Ultimecia asked.

"No thanks. I don't sing." Sephiroth declined.

"Well then how about helping me make fruitcake?" Kuja said.

"I thought no one liked fruitcake." Sephiroth said.

"Then you have never tried my fruitcake." Kuja smiled.

"I think I'll pass on the fruitcake." Sephiroth said.

"Alright," Kuja sighed, "But you don't know what you're missing."

"How about helping me with the tree?" Emperor Mateus asked in a voice that made it sound more like an order.

"What is this stuff?" Sephiroth asked, gesturing to some rather unrecognizable stuff.

"Just some ornaments we made." Emperor Mateus explained. "That one is Garland's." He pointed to a bauble that was red in one corner, blue in the other, silver in another, and brown in the final corner. "This one's mine." Mateus's was split in two, one side black, the other white. "This one is Cloud of Darkness's." The ornaments were two yellow snakes right next to each other.

"This one is Golbez's." He pointed to one of a black heart. "This one is Exdeath's." He pointed to one shaped like a tree with a black hole through it. "Kefka's is right there." This ornament was some unknown multicolored shape. "This one is yours." The Emperor said, pointing to a grey crystal with a black wing on one side that reflected the lights, adding some other colors onto the ball.

"This is Ultimecia's." It was of a clock. "Kuja's is right here." It was of a black angel. "Jecht's is right here." His was of a blitzball. "Gabranth's." Gabranth's was a small picture frame showing two sandy brown haired boys smiling together. "Caius's." Caius's was of a dragon holding a flower. "And finally Chaos's." The Emperor pointed to the top of the tree.

"I'll pass." Sephiroth said.

"How about some eggnog?" Jecht offered.

"We already have one drunk," The Emperor calmly said, "We don't need another."

"No thank you." Sephiroth said.

"What did you get Cloud then?" Golbez asked. "And Tifa? We can help you wrap them up."

"Alright!" Gilgamesh exclaimed. "I'm an expert at wrapping presents!"

"I didn't get them anything." Sephiroth said.

"What!?" Kefka cried out. "Why not?"

"Because I didn't know it was Christmas. And even if I did, I don't celebrate it." Sephiroth stated. "I never celebrated it when I was a kid, why should I start now? Especially if I have to be nice and give a gift to my enemies?" He turned away. "If you'll excuse me, I have some training to do." And he left.

"What a grump." Kefka grumbled.

"And you guys say I'm a crab." The Emperor said as he put another ornament on the tree.

"You are." Jecht said drunkenly. "But at least you're celebrating the holiday."

"I feel bad though," Ultimecia said, "He never celebrated Christmas before."

"His loss." Gabranth said.

"Yeah," Golbez agreed, "But if only there were some way to get him into the Christmas spirit."

"Yeah," Kefka agreed, "But how?" As he was thinking this, he turned to Kuja. "Hey, kid, what are you reading?"

Kuja looked up from his book. He marked his place and then showed the book to Kefka. "It's a book called _The Christmas Carol_. Someone gave this to me this morning and I'm completely hooked on the story."

"What's the story about?" Garland asked.

"I've heard this story." Caius declared. "I tribe storyteller used to tell us it every Christmas. It's about this mean man named Scrooge who loves money, doesn't help the poor, and is mean and closed off to everyone else. Then one Christmas Eve, the deceased Jacob Marley, his former partner, warns him that three ghosts will come and if he doesn't change, he'll die. Finally, he learns his lesson and becomes a better man."

"That sounds very effective." Gilgamesh said.

"Yes." The Emperor said. "Quite effective." He smirked.

"What are you thinking about?" Kuja asked; when the Emperor had a plan, it was mostly certain to work.

"I'm thinking that maybe history's about to repeat itself."

"Mateus," Kuja said, "This is a fictional story."

The Emperor just glared at Kuja. "Bottom line, I know just how we'll get Sephiroth to get in the Christmas spirit."

"But we can't do it alone." Ultimecia said. "We need help. We need Cosmos's warriors.

_End. I hope you enjoyed. Please review and tell me what you think. This was an idea given to me by Lady Rabenschwarz and is also inspired by a Bleach Christmas Carol fanfiction where Byakuya is Scrooge and, humorously, the other Shinigami try to get him into the Christmas spirit. _


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